I'm not one who likes change very much. The same old things, day in and day out, have always suited me just fine. Growing up, I had my life all mapped out: I would not go to college; instead I'd get married, have kids, live in one particular house in my hometown, I'd go to the same church I grew up in...my future was all planned, and I liked being so sure that this plan was God-given. “After all,” I thought, “I'd be at peace in that situation. I'd be happy. There's nothing peaceful about moving and adjusting all the time. Change isn't always for the best.”
Over the spring/summer of 2011, however, I began praying that God would give me a desire for whatever was in His will for my life. Slowly God began changing the way I thought about certain things, certain situations in my life. As I surrendered these things to the Lord, I felt at peace. But I was still certain that God wanted me in my home state of Maine, for life.
Sept. 30-Oct.1, 2011, I was blessed to be able to attend a retreat for pastor's kids with my sister. We looked forward to it for weeks, because we'd be riding to and from the retreat with some good friends of ours. The retreat was lots of fun, we all had a good time, enjoying singing and fellowship with other pastor's kids. Then it came time for the final hymn before we packed up our things. We started singing the first verse of “I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go.”
It may not be on the mountains height, or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle's front my Lord will have need of me:
But if by a still, small voice He calls to paths I do not know,
I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine,
I'll go where You want me to go.
I'll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,
O'er mountain or plain or sea;
I'll say what You want me to say, dear Lord,
I'll be what You want me to be.
~ Mary Brown ~
And as we were singing, I realized something: I could honestly sing those words! Suddenly, I realized that if God were to ask me to give up everything, I really could. I meant every word of that song! As we started in on the last verse, I sang out clearer than before, joyfully singing those words to my Savior—meaning every word.
And guess what? I'm at peace! I don't know where God would have me go, what He'd have me do, only that He'll be with me and providing for me, leading and guiding all the way.
Can you go wherever God wants you to go, say what He wants you to say, or be what He wants you to be, simply because He asks?
“For I know the thoughts I think toward you,” says the Lord, “thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”